Sunday, August 19, 2007

the easy way or the hard way

This week has been such a busy one for us that we have let a lot of things go around the house. I just realized last night how much the housework and other things had taken a back seat to youth activies at church, school shopping, teacher orientations and all the other running around we have been doing all week. Yesterday we set aside the whole day to clean the house from top to bottom.
We started by cleaning all three of the bathrooms and continued on through each room of the house picking up, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning. Something I was reminded of today is that having my children help clean is takes a lot of patience. My kids have their regular chores that they all do on a regular basis, but on a day like this where there is so much to be done, it would have been so much easier for me to put on a movie to occupy them, and just do it myself. If I had done that though, my children would have missed out on an opportunity to learn how to be good servants, and I would have missed out on the opportunity to make conversation with them as we worked. Even th0ugh we were working, we were still spending time together, so I felt really good about that.
It is interesting to me how we can choose to love our children by taking the "harder" way sometimes. This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. A lot of times it would be "easier" to send them outside with the neighborhood kids to play so I can sit and read my book, but I take the "harder" way and keep them in and play a game with them or make them play something together as siblings. I could take the "easy" way and set them in front of the TV or computer a whole lot more than I do, but I have to force myself sometimes to take the "harder" way and make them do something else. I could take the "easy" way and go ahead and put their laundry away for them (that way I know it all goes where it is supposed to!) or I can take the "harder" way and let them put them away themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I use the TV and computer to my advantage often enough, but I know that it is important not to let it get out of hand. I also (when my children are not looking) choose to go ahead and put their clothes away for them sometimes. But what is important is making sure that there is balance an that my children are learning the skills that they need to know rather than me always making life easier for myself. (something that takes a lot of work for me as I tend to want to take the selfish route most often)
When I was growing up I never learned how to do laundry or other house work. My mom figured it was easier just to do it herself. I also never learned to cook. My mom didn't want anyone even in the kitchen when she was cooking! (To this day when I visit her she won't let me cut the lettuce for tacos because she likes it shredded a special way!!) I have these same tendencies sometimes which were modeled for me growing up, but I have to choose to take the "harder" way, because I want my children to not only learn these kinds of skills, but I also want to give them the confidence that comes from accomplishing things themselves.

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