Lent

I have never been one to really give up anything for Lent. To be honest with you when the idea was brought to my attention by my friend this past week I really didn't know anything about it. I tentatively agreed to give something up with her, and then went on line to research exactly what Lent was and what I was supposed to do. As I looked at different things on the internet I only got my self more confused and even a little discouraged. I even read sights that claimed that giving something up for Lent was not Biblical. Being overwhelmed, I just decided to pray about it and ask the Lord Himself to tell me what this was all about and if he wanted me to do it.

I started out asking the Lord what I would give up. I started to feel that what I gave up shouldn’t be something that I feel I need to give up, but rather something that I really enjoyed and found pleasure in. I would be giving it up not because I have to, but because I want to. I want to as a sacrifice. A sacrifice on my part symbolizing the sacrifice God made for me for my sins. For the next 40 days I made the decision to commit to a complete surrender to the Lord and all that he wanted to work in and out of me. I would do this in the form of a fast. A fast of all sweets including what I call all the C’s. Cake, Candy, Cookies, ice Cream and Coke (but not coffee!!) If you know me well, you know that this will not be an easy task for me. I eat these things EVERY day and when EVER I want! This may very well be one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I am committed to it and I am going to do it!

Now, it has been a busy few months for me and while I have kept a written journal and continued to grow in the Lord, I have not had the time to write on my blog. I am anticipating though, that the next 40 days are going to be life changing for me. I believe that the Lord is going to make changes in me like never before. I am ready, and I don’t want to miss one thing. So, to help myself keep track of this 40 day journey (and to keep from getting writers cramp trying to write all in my written journal!) I will use my blog to count down and journal the next 40 days.

I will spend today praying for what God wants me to focus on during this time. Praying for my husband? Praying for my children? Reading my Bible more? More positive thinking? What does he want me to put on in place of what I am putting off?

God against Pharaoh

Last night my husband and I were so frustrated with parenting that I was literally ready to throw in the towel. I feel like our frustration levels are so high, and we are lacking the evidence of fruit that we need to feel encouraged enough to keep pressing on. I prayed last night for the Lord to give me wisdom as well as the encouragement I so badly need right now.

This morning I read Exodus 2:1-10. Jochebed, the mother of Moses trusted God with her son even when Pharaoh's evil was working against her. She trusted Him and he blessed her. I feel like I have a HUGE Pharaoh in my life working against me and my efforts to raise Godly children. My Pharaoh is the world. It's ungodly neighborhood children and their families, school, friends. Every where my children go it seems they pick up on such worldly things and negative traits. I sometimes feel like my efforts are useless and I am loosing to the outside influences.

I can't lock my children up and never let them out in the world (although I wouldn't mind it!) Last week Brady said a curse word (at church even!) that my husband and I have never used, yesterday Zack was talking in the car about Grand Theft Auto...a video game that we have NEVER let him play. Where do they get these things. Unfortunately they do go to public school and I know that is a huge part of it. I think about homeschooling ALL the time but we have tried that before and it didn't work out very well for us. I question my decision on that issue every single day, but my husband and feel like we can't keep putting them in and pulling them out. So until we can make a sound and somewhat permanent decision on the matter we have decided to leave them where they are.

In the mean time, I guess I need to be more like Jochebed and trust God completely for the welfare of my children. Even though it may have sometimes looked like Pharaoh had the upper hand, Jochebed loved God and knew that He was bigger than any of Pharaoh's evil schemes.

Obedience

Last night my husband and I sat down to look at our house rules and make up a list of things we want to work on with our children. In the end we realized that what we want more than anything else is simply obedience. Everything else we wrote on our list seemed to fit into that category anyway. No running in the house.......treat others with kindness.......use words instead of hitting.....clean up after yourself......these are all all important house "rules", but none of it will do any good with out the simple act of obedience on their part.

This made me look this morning at what "rules" the Lord has been trying to establish with me. ......honor my husband.....serve my family selflessly with a joyful heart.....no complaining....spend less money each pay day.....control anger and irritation......Am I being obedient?

Obedience is not always easy but it is always worth it. Obedience to God always brings reward. Deuteronomy 28 spells out the rewards promised to those who obey the Lord, and then the cursing of those who do not. I know which side of that plan I want to be on!!

In the end my husband and I decided that in addition to consequences for disobedience we want to have a reward system for obedience. We came up with a plan to have obedience jars where they will have a certain number of beads each. Throughout they day when they are not obedient (obedience being...the first time asked with out whining, complaining or delay) they have to take out a bead and bring it to us. At the end of the week there will be a reward for those who have a certain amount of beads left in their jar. It got late so we didn't get to work out all the details just yet, but the idea is there and we will work on it more tonight.

looking to serve

Brady got a McDonalds gift card from my grandmother for his Birthday so yesterday when the big kids had school and he did not I look him out for lunch to use it. We ordered our food and then went to make our drinks. As I was doing this they called out our order. I looked over at the tray with our 2 happy meals on it I realized that I would have to take the drinks and the baby to the table first and come back for the food.

When I got to the table and got everything settled I turned around to go back and get our food and a man came up behind me and set down our tray. He said..."it looked like you had your hands full." I thanked him for being so kind and then had this thought.

Carrying that tray to my table was such a small thing, but it really blessed me. It made me ask myself...."am I always looking for ways to serve others?" The man saw a need, and acted on it quickly.

That is my prayer today.......For God to open my eyes to ways (even little ones) that I can serve others. And for me to act quickly. Not to think about it or ponder on it like I tend to do, but to just see a need and act.

Looking back now I wish I would have used that time to talk to Brayden about serving others and pointed out how kind that man was to us. Maybe he will still remember if I talk to him about it today.

Feelings

In this season of my life I am "feeling" a lot of things.
I am feeling tired.....I feel overwhelmed ....... I am not feeling very skinny......I don't feel very organized.....I actually have been feeling very distant from God spiritually at times.....I don't have as much time as I have in the past to really dig deep into the Word like I am used to. I don't feel filled with the Holy Spirit.

As I said all these things to my friend the other day she pointed out the obvious thing that I didn't even hear myself saying over and over again......all these things are based on my "feelings".
Yesterday my husband and I went to Chili's and shared a big bacon cheese burger followed by a yummy dessert. When we were finished I felt so yuck and fat the rest of the day. This morning after eating all that I still got dressed feeling so "fat"! Well I wentto my son's orientation at school and a girl there complimented me on how great I looked. She said I didn't even look like I had had a baby. She and another girl went on and on about how great I looked already.
WOW!! All the sudden this afternoon I feel so skinny!!!!!!

Am I really any skinnier today than I was yesterday??? NO! The truth is I am only "feeling" one way or the other based on my circumstances, or even what someone else told me!

The same is true about my spiritual walk. I can not base my relationship with the Lord on my "feelings". I am just as filled with the Holy spirit now as I have always been. My circumstances may be different, and I am may not "feel" as spiritual as I may have at other times, but God is working in me all the time, and I need to speak and act in a way that reflects his righteousness all the time despite how I might be "feeling".

Good influence

Victoria is participating in youth week this week at church. They are out doing community service in the mornings followed by fun and fellow ship in the afternoons and praise and worship in the evening. It is always a long but really fun week for our youth.

Since we moved here last summer I have prayed for Victoria to find new friends. Because she was home schooled, this was a hard thing for her. In my prayers I would always ask that she find friends of good influence. Every time she is away from me I always pray that she be surrounded by good influence.

Well yesterday I came to the realization of something......good influence at Victoria's age is hard to find. Especially when limited to the idea that most of her friends are 12 and 13 years old. Instead, why not pray that she make the right choices in the midst of bad influence. I can also pray that she be a good influence to those she is around. I think this is a more realistic approach to praying for her. It also shows her that I have the confidence in her that she knows right from wrong and is mature enough to make the right decisions despite the influences around her. That is something she will benefit from even in her adult life.

Max Isaiah

Max Isaiah Nichols was born on June 23rd 2008 The day he was born was such a special one. I believe it was the day God completed our family.

The first few days of his life I could only look at him and be overwhelmed with thankfulness for this little life that God has put in mine. I love all my children so much and could not imagine my life with out them. I did nothing to deserve such a gift, only by Gods grace and sovereignty have I been so blessed.

I am so glad to have experienced birth and life one more time. It is all such a miracle.

We named little Max what we did because Max means "strong leader". One thing my husband and I want for this little baby, that will someday be a man, is for him to be a strong leader. At the same time though, we named him Isaiah because it means "God is my helper". While we want Max to be a strong leader, we never want him (or any of our children) to forget that God is their helper and that they can do nothing without his help.