Summer is always hard for me as far as being consistent in my Bible reading. I am not usually in a Bible study and so I tend to just read random sections of the Bible with out a real "plan". I don't particularly like this but it's been good for me to be more random rather than rigid. Today I landed in Deuteronomy. I was enjoying reading as Moses encourages God's people to say on His path, to follow His ways, and to be blessed. As I was reading it I was praying for my own children. I want nothing more than for them to always have hearts like this, that they might fear God and obey all His commands and then they and their descendants prosper forever. (5:29) For them to Stay on the path that the Lord God has commanded they follow. Then for them to live long and prosperous lives in the land they are about to enter and occupy. (5:33) and most of all for them to love the Lord God with all their heart, all their soul, and all their strength. And to commit themselves wholeheartedly to His commands. (6:5-7)
I have prayed for many years these prayer for my children, but then often struggle to understand why my desire to bring them to that place of blessing seems so hard and so unfruitful. Why I seem to run into so many trials and heartaches on the way there. I want to believe with all my heart that God will fulfill my desires for my children, that he will one day bring them into the promise land, but because of the bumps along the road I often feel like we will wonder in the desert forever. Then today he gave me a vision about the day when he does bless them. It came from these verses in Deuteronomy 8.
For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’ Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.
So when my children to grow up and have families of their own and I am blessed as I seem them walking in the ways of the Lord and being blessed by all He has given them, it says......be careful! I must remember not to become proud and forgot the Lord God and all He did to get us there. I am in the thick of it now. I am in the dessert. I am in the place where it seems we will roam forever.
The promise land seems so far and too hard to ever get to, but God has promised and I must not only trust Him but also remember ever single poisonous snake and scorpion I encounter along my journey to get there. I must remember how God brings me through this place where it is hot and dry. He will give me water and feed me manna. He is doing all this to humble me and to test me for my own good. He is doing all this so that I will never say to myself "I have achieved all this on my own strength and energy" but instead I will remember the Lord my God and that HE is the one who gives me power to be successful!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
staying attached to the vine
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing........But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!"
At first glance this verse looks like a magic Jeanie lamp. Ask and your wish is my command! Look a little closer and you see that it reveals another example of God encouraging us to surrender to Him and let Him make our desired His desires. A branch that is attached to the vine does not have plans of it's own. It simply thrives on what the vine provides it. It follows the direction the vine leads it's growth. If it goes it's own way and wants to be apart from the vine it has to be cut off. Once cut off it can't go anywhere. It can't produce anything. "apart from me you can do nothing..." Go out to your yard and cut of a branch from a bush or a vine. What will happen to that branch? There it will lay on the ground. After a couple of days it will die. If you never pick it up it will lay there forever, never do a thing. I know I sure don't want to be that branch. Cut off from my father.
If I remain in Him and he remains in me then my desires will be His desires. The things I ask of Him will be the desires He has put in my heart. I will only long for what he wants for me not the thing that I THINK I want. The best part about this is that it then says we will produce fruit. MUCH fruit!
Thank you Lord for your grace which has allowed me to be a part of your vine. Thank you for your mercy which prevents me from ever being cut off from you. May I remain in you and your words remain in me. I want to produce much fruit. I want to please you and honor you in all that I do. If I am living with a desire to be 100% surrendered to your desires then I will never be disappointed. I will never long for anything else.
At first glance this verse looks like a magic Jeanie lamp. Ask and your wish is my command! Look a little closer and you see that it reveals another example of God encouraging us to surrender to Him and let Him make our desired His desires. A branch that is attached to the vine does not have plans of it's own. It simply thrives on what the vine provides it. It follows the direction the vine leads it's growth. If it goes it's own way and wants to be apart from the vine it has to be cut off. Once cut off it can't go anywhere. It can't produce anything. "apart from me you can do nothing..." Go out to your yard and cut of a branch from a bush or a vine. What will happen to that branch? There it will lay on the ground. After a couple of days it will die. If you never pick it up it will lay there forever, never do a thing. I know I sure don't want to be that branch. Cut off from my father.
If I remain in Him and he remains in me then my desires will be His desires. The things I ask of Him will be the desires He has put in my heart. I will only long for what he wants for me not the thing that I THINK I want. The best part about this is that it then says we will produce fruit. MUCH fruit!
Thank you Lord for your grace which has allowed me to be a part of your vine. Thank you for your mercy which prevents me from ever being cut off from you. May I remain in you and your words remain in me. I want to produce much fruit. I want to please you and honor you in all that I do. If I am living with a desire to be 100% surrendered to your desires then I will never be disappointed. I will never long for anything else.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
the answers to my contentment
I've been reading this book for the past few weeks called Anything by Jennie Allen. It is an amazing book about completely surrendering to a life serving God. About giving up our own desires for more of God's and agreeing to do anything. It has been really challenging me and through it the Lord has been digging deep inside of me exposing areas of my life where I have been self seeking and empty. Challenging me to let him take hold, fearlessly agreeing to let him do anything in me and with me. This means giving up comfortable, safe and happy. It means giving up my own desires for His desires for me. Its been a hard read but a life changing one for me.
In the book Anything Jennie mentions several times another book called Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis the funny thing about this is that one of my best friends has been reading that book and just told me a few weeks ago that I really have to read it. For me that was confirmation that I was meant to read that next.
I read most of my books on my tablet through either Nook or Kindle apps, but because my husband has been a little less than happy with my money management lately I decided to honor him and not jump right on and buy it like I normally do when I am super excited about a book. We have a wonderful library system in the county we live in and by just going on line and searching their data base I can almost always find any book I'm looking for and even if its at another library miles away in Michigan I can have it delivered right to my own library for me to pick up. So that's what I did and yesterday the library notified me that my book was in. I was so excited. The only thing I DONT like about this is that now I can't highlight and mark up all the pages like I do in my own books or on my tablet. I am only past the first chapter and already if this was MY book it would be tore up with ink and highlighter!
As you know yesterday I wrote about just one of my life's disappointments I have been struggling through. And when I say just one.....trust me, the Lord has been pulling out all kinds of junk out of me over the past few weeks. The one I wrote about yesterday really is just a drop in the bucket, but I am trusting that the Lords mercy is just peeling away one little layer at a time as to not let it hurt to much all at once. So after I wrote out my struggle and some of the honest questions I had about how I was to be content with whatever God has given me, I just prayed for the Lord to show me how to deal with it all. Asking Him to speak to my heart and help me to understand. Well I prayed that yesterday morning about this time, and he didn't even let me go to bed that night without an answer. He is so faithful.
As I started my new book Kisses from Katie, a girl over a decade younger than me had the answer at the young age of just 19. I didn't even make it through the introduction before my questions about my contentment were answered. This is what she said..."For as long as I can remember my favorite Bible verse has been Psalm 37:4 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart' I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed his commandments, and was a "good girl", He would grant me all my desires and make my dreams come true. Today it is still one of my favorite passages of scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making my dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life."
There is was....my answer. All this time I have been holding on to my own dreams. Longing for the things I want. Fantasizing about my ideal place to live, my perfect family, my lovely Christ like children, a picture book marriage, my happy life, just the way I want it. Yearning for the desires of my heart. Desires that I put there. Instead of asking the Lord to put His desires in my heart.
His desires for me will always prevail whether I am lined up with them or not. But if His desires and my desires are not lined up, then that is where there is disappointment. That is where I will find discontent. I'm ashamed of my selfish desire for my plan. As I read this book I am seeing a young girl who let God change her dreams into His dreams for her life. She is filled with joy and watching God work as she "delights herself in the Lord" by doing what He asks of her. Can I do the same thing? Can I accept where God has me and trust him for every single step I take every single day of my life. Can I give up my own wants and my own "vision" for my life? It is so hard. But I am trusting him. And from this day forward I am delighting myself in him, not in my own dreams.
I know God did not place me here on this earth to enjoy myself, to have fun and to be comfortable. If I truly am a believer in God's Word then I know that I was placed here to fulfill God's purposes. To love Him and love others through Him. I need to strip all that is entangling me and run this race. I have been so far behind and I didn't even know it.
In the book Anything Jennie mentions several times another book called Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis the funny thing about this is that one of my best friends has been reading that book and just told me a few weeks ago that I really have to read it. For me that was confirmation that I was meant to read that next.
I read most of my books on my tablet through either Nook or Kindle apps, but because my husband has been a little less than happy with my money management lately I decided to honor him and not jump right on and buy it like I normally do when I am super excited about a book. We have a wonderful library system in the county we live in and by just going on line and searching their data base I can almost always find any book I'm looking for and even if its at another library miles away in Michigan I can have it delivered right to my own library for me to pick up. So that's what I did and yesterday the library notified me that my book was in. I was so excited. The only thing I DONT like about this is that now I can't highlight and mark up all the pages like I do in my own books or on my tablet. I am only past the first chapter and already if this was MY book it would be tore up with ink and highlighter!
As you know yesterday I wrote about just one of my life's disappointments I have been struggling through. And when I say just one.....trust me, the Lord has been pulling out all kinds of junk out of me over the past few weeks. The one I wrote about yesterday really is just a drop in the bucket, but I am trusting that the Lords mercy is just peeling away one little layer at a time as to not let it hurt to much all at once. So after I wrote out my struggle and some of the honest questions I had about how I was to be content with whatever God has given me, I just prayed for the Lord to show me how to deal with it all. Asking Him to speak to my heart and help me to understand. Well I prayed that yesterday morning about this time, and he didn't even let me go to bed that night without an answer. He is so faithful.
As I started my new book Kisses from Katie, a girl over a decade younger than me had the answer at the young age of just 19. I didn't even make it through the introduction before my questions about my contentment were answered. This is what she said..."For as long as I can remember my favorite Bible verse has been Psalm 37:4 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart' I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed his commandments, and was a "good girl", He would grant me all my desires and make my dreams come true. Today it is still one of my favorite passages of scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making my dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life."
There is was....my answer. All this time I have been holding on to my own dreams. Longing for the things I want. Fantasizing about my ideal place to live, my perfect family, my lovely Christ like children, a picture book marriage, my happy life, just the way I want it. Yearning for the desires of my heart. Desires that I put there. Instead of asking the Lord to put His desires in my heart.
His desires for me will always prevail whether I am lined up with them or not. But if His desires and my desires are not lined up, then that is where there is disappointment. That is where I will find discontent. I'm ashamed of my selfish desire for my plan. As I read this book I am seeing a young girl who let God change her dreams into His dreams for her life. She is filled with joy and watching God work as she "delights herself in the Lord" by doing what He asks of her. Can I do the same thing? Can I accept where God has me and trust him for every single step I take every single day of my life. Can I give up my own wants and my own "vision" for my life? It is so hard. But I am trusting him. And from this day forward I am delighting myself in him, not in my own dreams.
I know God did not place me here on this earth to enjoy myself, to have fun and to be comfortable. If I truly am a believer in God's Word then I know that I was placed here to fulfill God's purposes. To love Him and love others through Him. I need to strip all that is entangling me and run this race. I have been so far behind and I didn't even know it.
Monday, July 1, 2013
back to the blog
It's been so long since I have been on here that I actually had to think real hard to remember my password. But all in all here I am feeling the pull to pursue this journey again of writing the things God is showing me on my path to Seeking Him First. Truth is I have been in a bit of a funk. I have been wrestling with God about my life. About where he has me and what he is doing with me. I moved here to Michigan because my husband wanted to go back to where he was from. It is not my place of choice. I am a laid back Southern girl at heart who enjoys warm weather. Michigan is obviously no in the south, it's not warm, and I would not quite call it laid back. I have just struggled terribly ever since we got here. It is just a place like none other I have ever been. You almost can't explain it unless you have experienced it. People here are always in a hurry, very often grumpy, they are over worked, over spent and while many are very nice, many are not. There are Christians here, but something about this place just never seems to feel like home to me.
If I had the choice I would be out of here in a second. Where would I go? Well honestly I don't know but it would definitely be somewhere sunny. warm and with water. I think my first pick would be Virginia. I love that area. It is the one place that feels like home. My husband and I actually met there. I then left and followed him around during his Air Force Career. We lived in some really great places and I wouldn't give back that experience for the world, but always felt like I would end up back in Virginia again one day. But I didn't. My husband retired form the Air Force and here in Michigan is where we stayed.
Is my husband happy here? I think so. Is the rest of my family happy? Well, they are resilient so I think they would be happy anywhere. Which is I guess how I should be. Am I happy here? Unfortunately I would have to say no. In fact it is a CONSTANT battle for me that just never seems to get any better. My heart just longs to be somewhere else. I know that feeling is wrong. Or at least I think it is. I know God calls me to be content, but then on the other hand I don't understand how to be content and yet deal with the desires of my heart. Should I follow the desires of my heart? Well in this case I guess I can't unless it means I sinfully go against my husband. So that leaves me where? I guess I am still trying to figure that out.
Maybe I am supposed to die to this dream of how my life should be. After all, if I am living for Christ shouldn't I be laying down my life anyway? Dying to myself and my own desires? I'm just not there. I want to be though. Am I really seeking God first? If I am then why can I not be content with where he has placed me? I need His help, that's the only thing I know for sure.
If I had the choice I would be out of here in a second. Where would I go? Well honestly I don't know but it would definitely be somewhere sunny. warm and with water. I think my first pick would be Virginia. I love that area. It is the one place that feels like home. My husband and I actually met there. I then left and followed him around during his Air Force Career. We lived in some really great places and I wouldn't give back that experience for the world, but always felt like I would end up back in Virginia again one day. But I didn't. My husband retired form the Air Force and here in Michigan is where we stayed.
Is my husband happy here? I think so. Is the rest of my family happy? Well, they are resilient so I think they would be happy anywhere. Which is I guess how I should be. Am I happy here? Unfortunately I would have to say no. In fact it is a CONSTANT battle for me that just never seems to get any better. My heart just longs to be somewhere else. I know that feeling is wrong. Or at least I think it is. I know God calls me to be content, but then on the other hand I don't understand how to be content and yet deal with the desires of my heart. Should I follow the desires of my heart? Well in this case I guess I can't unless it means I sinfully go against my husband. So that leaves me where? I guess I am still trying to figure that out.
Maybe I am supposed to die to this dream of how my life should be. After all, if I am living for Christ shouldn't I be laying down my life anyway? Dying to myself and my own desires? I'm just not there. I want to be though. Am I really seeking God first? If I am then why can I not be content with where he has placed me? I need His help, that's the only thing I know for sure.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
wisdom
If I have a one word goal for this New Year it would be WISDOM.
I want to seek God's wisdom consistently and by the end of 2013 be even closer to God than ever before. Proverbs 2:4 says that wisdom is something we should search for as if is a hidden treasure. As I read through Proverbs 2 looking at the treasures that come from gaining God's wisdom here are a few word's that I discovered :
Knowledge of God, common sense, shield, guards, protects, right, just, fair, the right way to go, joy, wise choices, keep you safe, save you from evil people, righteousness
Those are just a few that popped off the page at me, yet when I look at that list I believe that anything that I may encounter in this new year could probably be covered by one of the above treasures.....simply seeking "WISDOM". Gods wisdom IS a treasure. May my 2013 be dedicated to seeking it above all else.
I want to seek God's wisdom consistently and by the end of 2013 be even closer to God than ever before. Proverbs 2:4 says that wisdom is something we should search for as if is a hidden treasure. As I read through Proverbs 2 looking at the treasures that come from gaining God's wisdom here are a few word's that I discovered :
Knowledge of God, common sense, shield, guards, protects, right, just, fair, the right way to go, joy, wise choices, keep you safe, save you from evil people, righteousness
Those are just a few that popped off the page at me, yet when I look at that list I believe that anything that I may encounter in this new year could probably be covered by one of the above treasures.....simply seeking "WISDOM". Gods wisdom IS a treasure. May my 2013 be dedicated to seeking it above all else.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year
Well its a new year and one of my goals for the new year was to start writing on my blog again. Already day one of a new year and I'm wondering how well I will do at that! For one thing I read so many other great things online now with my new Tablet. I have the new google reader app that streams all my favorite blog posts in one place. After reading all the great things other people have written it's hard to come up with my own interesting things to write about! Which is why for today instead of writing my own post, I will just share with you my favorite read today. :)
FilledWithChrist Billy Graham's Daily Devotion 1 Jan 2013 . . . Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. –Philippians 3:13 (TLB) As we flick the calendar to a new year, we come face to face with the fact that our days on earth are numbered. As the Psalmist wrote, “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” No thoughtful person can approach New Year’s Day without some introspection. We are reminded of the brevity of time. We also look back over our failures, mistakes, and missed opportunities, and vow that we will make better use of our time during the coming year. We should take time to be pleasant, to smile, to extend the small courtesies we often omit—to show love to our family. Psychiatrists tell us that most people are starved for love. Take time for the goodbye kiss; we shall go to work with a sweeter spirit. Let us take time to get acquainted with our families. We are not machines. We are not robots. The secret of a happy home is that members of the family learn to give and receive love. Let us take time to express our love in a thousand ways.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY As I begin a new year, Lord Jesus, I pray that my walk through the days ahead will be filled with Your love for others, a love that does not count the cost.
FilledWithChrist Billy Graham's Daily Devotion 1 Jan 2013 . . . Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. –Philippians 3:13 (TLB) As we flick the calendar to a new year, we come face to face with the fact that our days on earth are numbered. As the Psalmist wrote, “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” No thoughtful person can approach New Year’s Day without some introspection. We are reminded of the brevity of time. We also look back over our failures, mistakes, and missed opportunities, and vow that we will make better use of our time during the coming year. We should take time to be pleasant, to smile, to extend the small courtesies we often omit—to show love to our family. Psychiatrists tell us that most people are starved for love. Take time for the goodbye kiss; we shall go to work with a sweeter spirit. Let us take time to get acquainted with our families. We are not machines. We are not robots. The secret of a happy home is that members of the family learn to give and receive love. Let us take time to express our love in a thousand ways.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY As I begin a new year, Lord Jesus, I pray that my walk through the days ahead will be filled with Your love for others, a love that does not count the cost.
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