Dealings with my heart

For my Birthday a sweet friend sent me a new book.  Its a little book that at first glance looks like a mini Bible bound in black leather.  It's called The Valley of Vision.  It's a collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.  The Puritans were a group of Christians in the 16 and 1700's that broke away from the church of England and came to America in hopes of dedicating themselves to a life of purity and devotion to God. They believed that every individual must be reformed by God’s grace to fight against sin, and to do what is best for him/her and right before the Lord. Their strength in this came from their practice of prayer and meditation. Many of them who clung to doctrines of grace wrote down a record of God's intimate dealings with their souls, not with an eye to publication, but as a test of their spiritual growth, and to encourage themselves and others in their quest to purity and holiness. 

As I am reading this collection of prayers and writings it is a sweet reminder to me of why I started this Blog several years ago.  I started it so that I could keep a journal of all the things God was doing my heart and how he was changing me as I sought to Seek Him First in my my family, in my marriage, in my relationships, and in my life as a whole.  I did not write it for publication and certainly not with motives of self boasting for if anything it has shown my weakness and my lack of ability to do or write anything that makes a bit of sense outside the grace of God on my finger tips as I peck away on the key board. 

I do know though that it does test my spiritual growth and almost helps me to stay accountable to myself as I seek to be learning something new all the time.  I notice that during the times in the past that I have been able to write consistently it has made for times of great spiritual growth and inspiration with in myself.  If anyone else gets anything out of what I write then that will be another added miracle only possible by the grace of God. My influence on others would only be for encouragement and personal reflection on the lives of those who read it.  My prayer would be that they too would join me in a quest for purity and holiness.  For if we are still on this earth walking, breathing, and living our lives then it is only by the grace of God so that we can bring Glory to His Great Name and do his good works until the day of Jesus return. 

"For me, living means living for Christ....."  Philippians 1:21
"for we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior." Philippians 3:20

Light after the darkness

I left off my last post with pictures of snow covering my almost bloomed spring flowers.  Although life got busy and I never got a chance to take pictures of them, those snow covered beginnings of life did turn into beautiful blooms.  It was a lovely spring and one that I appreciated more probably than any other in the past.  The long, dark, cold winter made the spring seem brighter and more beautiful than any other. 
Today my sweet neighbor and friend gave me Psalm 119 to read in the order of the following verses  18,15,5, &45.  It came out like this:

I lie in the dust. (when I think of dust I think of a pit! A dark, filled with nothing, dust on the bottom PIT!) Revive me by your word. Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions. I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways. Oh that my actions would CONSISTENTLY (that's key for me!) reflect your decrees. I will walk in freedom because I have devoted myself to your commands.

The only way to get out of the dust -the pit- is to look to Christ (not the "snow" ~our struggles) and KEEP our eyes on Christ.  Looking to Him is the only way to get out and stay (consistent!) out of that pit.

When you are in a pit it is dark.  Only when you look up can you see the light.  Keep looking up towards the light!  He will pull you out and then with our eyes on the light he will keep us from falling back in there again and again!

Do not be discouraged

Just to reiterate my post a few weeks ago about being CrAzY busy....I must mention before actually posting this that it was started on the 19th of April!! I love to write but WHERE is the time!!  :)

Have you ever been so excited about something and then when your least expecting it things take a turn and you find yourself feeling discouraged?  This happens a lot in our faith.  It can happen for different reasons.  Sometimes it is something called Spiritual warfare and sometimes it is simply God changing your course toward something different.  With prayer and careful discernment of a situation it can be easy to tell the difference.  Either way God is good, He knows what He is doing, and we can trust Him!  God's will always prevails and we must not allow the enemy and his lies discourage us.
A few days ago I posted some pictures on here of green sprouts that were starting to peek out in my yard. I talked about how encouraged I was by the fact that during this hard cold winter full of deadness these little shoots were coming up and showing new life.  God was working even when I could not see Him, and the new green leaves popping out were signs of His Goodness coming through. But check out these pictures taken just a few days later! 

Even in those times when we can not physically "see" what God is doing we have to trust him. The enemy is always out to try to distract us from seeing and trusting God's good work.  Don't let him win the battle. God always has the victory and nothing can stop His good work....not even an April 18th snow storm!  I trust that He STILL has plans to bring up pretty flowers underneath that snow, and we can trust that He still plans good for us even when we can't see what it is He is doing. 

..in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 37-39

He's always working

I remember when we bought this house the lady that owned it before us told me a whole list of things that were planted in the yard that would come up in the Spring.  I had forgotten about it until just this weekend when I began to see some of the little green shoots peeking out of the ground ALL over the yard, around the trees and in the flower beds.  It is kind of exciting seeing and knowing that something beautiful is coming but not really knowing what.
God is constantly at work in our lives in this same way.  We don't always know what God is up to but we do know that what ever God is doing it is going to be good and beautiful. I am so thankful that He wants to make me righteous, holy, and good just like Himself.  I know that in order to achieve this He is constantly working in my life and in my heart.  I think sometimes we can begin to feel a little stagnant. Maybe not "seeing" God working or what it is He is doing in our lives at the very moment.  Maybe just like I have been writing about, we are in a "waiting" time. But just like those flowers in my yard, God is still working. 

I haven't really "seen" anything going on in the yard or in those flower beds, but obviously something has been at work or those little green shoots wouldn't be peeking out right now.  I am not always sure what God is up to, but I do know that we can find encouragement in the fact that God is always working!  I am looking forward to seeing what will come out of those flowers in the yard, and I am looking forward to seeing what God is working on in my heart right now.  Even if I don't really "see" a whole lot going on at the moment.

Waiting on the Lord

As I thought more about waiting over the past few days I asked myself "what am I waiting for?" It seems like we are all always "waiting" on something. We always have a hope in something. Some people are waiting on that new job offer, some on that new baby, a husband, a vacation, for us military people....that next assignment. Seems like the next "thing" is what we are always waiting on. Sometimes we get so focused on the thing that we're waiting on that we forget to live right now. We find ourselves always waiting on the "next thing" instead of being content with that which has already been given to us. We are waiting for that pay raise...instead of being thankful and praising God for the money that he provides for us right now. We are waiting on that next phase of baby-hood so much that we miss the joy of the phase they're in now. I was guilty of this many times with my first baby. I found my self always saying things like "I can't wait until she can...." Sometimes saying "I can't wait until .." means we are not content with where we are right now. Waiting is hard when we know what we are waiting for. It is even harder when we don't even know what it is we are waiting for. Those are times when God calls us to be content right where He has us. Not looking for the next best thing. Contentment..... I am praying for God to teach it to me. Am I content just waiting on Him and Him alone? Or am I always striving for that next best thing? And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; Micah 7:7

Happy to Wait

I am girl who loves loves the sun and summer. Most of my life I have lived in pretty warm places. Places ranging from Puerto Rico where I went to High School, New Mexico, Charleston, SC, even the Sun Shine State which I called home for the past 2 years, but this year I spent my first winter up north in Michigan. The experience kind of reminded me of being pregnant. The first few months were fun and exciting. The new clothes are fun to buy. I enjoyed the snow covered trees and houses. We enjoyed warm soup and hot fires. But right about February the fun and newness was starting to wear off! Christmas was over and the nostalgia of all this snow, ice and cold was fizzle off fast! My new clothes and boots that were so cute and exciting to wear in September and October wear getting old and I was so sick of my winter coat, hat and gloves that if I could I would love to throw them into the nearest bonfire! If you have ever been pregnant you will remember this same feeling about your maternity clothes about the 9th month of your pregnancy!! Well here it is the end of March and while I know Spring is right around the corner it is still 19* outside today and I feel like I have been waiting FOREVER!! One thing I did realize today though is that in all the warm places I have lived all my life, I have never looked SO forward to spring as I did THIS year. This will be one of the most exciting, heavily anticipated Springs I have ever experienced! It's funny how the things we have to wait for always are so much more appreciated than the things that come to us easily or quickly. Just ask any mother that has struggled through infertility and after many many years finally conceives that first baby. One thing that came clear to me today as I thought about the upcoming Spring is that while it seems to be a long time coming, it has already been promised to us. We know it is coming, but just like the saying goes "good things come to those who wait" ...everything that comes from God IS good, so we know that the more more He has us to wait the better whatever He has for us must be. Waiting means God is working! That makes me happy to wait. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25

No time for anything!

I noticed my last my post was called "no time for that lie".....today I realized I have no time for anything! !! My goodness.... weeks goes by so quickly and where does it go? The older my kids get the less time I seem to have. For some reason I thought it would be the opposite!! As busy as my life is, I pray that God will help me to see His goodness and show His love even in the chaos of this season of my life. So grateful to serve my husband and my children in love, as hard as that may be sometimes. That reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my very best friends just a few days ago. We have been trying to plan to see each other for months. We had looked into a Lake House in Holland Michigan that belongs to one of her family members. The idea of a girls getaway had us both giddy with excitement. As we tried to put the whole thing together one obstacle after another kept coming up. Her husband is in school in the DC area and mine is at the brink of major career and life changes. Between home school conventions, spring break, husbands work and school schedules.....this girls getaway began to get more and more impossible. We both fell into the temptation of frustration and discouragement. As much as we wanted this time together, and actually felt deserving of it for that matter, we also came to the conclusion that this was not God's time. As hard as it was to accept, this time was a time for us to serve our husbands and our children. Sacrificing that which we both so badly desired. Our Lord sacrificed every thing for us...unto death He gave of himself. Why is it so hard for me to do the same? This is something I am still still seeking to understand, but for now I am being obedient and trusting that God has a perfect time. For now we will serve with joyful hearts! He will tell us when the perfect time is to see my sweet friend. There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven~ Ecclesiastes 3:1